Considered by many to be the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin recently passed away, and the funeral services held in her honor were a spectacle, to say the least.  In no way is this meant to be critical, but rather a simple observation that the size of the crowds, length of the service, number of speakers, and changes in wardrobe were most unlike any funeral or memorial service I’d ever seen before. 

For some, this was cause for immediate ridicule. And yet I ask – why is that true?  Who did it hurt?  Does it matter what kind of service she wanted versus what you think is “appropriate?” And even more importantly, might there be some benefit to this style of service that we might learn from (even if it’s different than what we might have planned ourselves?)

More and more, in this politically-charged environment – everything, and I mean EVERY-thing seems to be about taking a corner at the polar extreme of any issue and doling out harsh criticism to anyone who believes differently than we do.  The “middle ground” is becoming more elusive than ever, as those at the far extremes seem to get more attention and thus, dominate the popular culture belief about what is "normal" or acceptable.

Referencing a cartoon I recently found online, there's a picture of a speaker onstage who asks a large crowd … “Who wants CHANGE?”… and a sea of hands raise high in the air.  But when that same speaker asks the crowd … “Who wants TO change?” … there’s not a hand to be seen.  I believe the same can be said for respect.  We all want it, and believe we deserve it, but how often do we SHOW it to others?

To that point, there’s a current controversy going on because Nike chose to include Colin Kaepernick in a series of advertisements celebrating the 30-year anniversary of their “Just Do It” campaign.  Within hours, I saw videos online of people burning their Nike shoes and products in protest.  And I just couldn’t help but marvel at the irony here.  Those people were burning their Nikes in silent protest of something they don’t agree with – which is Colin Kaepernick’s right to silently protest something HE doesn’t agree with.  Because like it or not, this issue isn’t about football, or the flag, or veterans, or about the pride we have in being U.S. citizens.  The real issue is that the very thing we need to flourish as a Democratic society is to show respect for everyone’s point of view, especially when that view is completely opposite our own.

A favorite quote of mine (from the movie “The American President”) sums it up beautifully:

America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country can't just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the "land of the free".

With this mindset, I urge all of us to stop and consider what it looks like to show respect to someone you disagree with.  What words would you use?  How much tolerance would you have?  Where and when might you work to protect their views and rights, especially when they disagree with your own?  Because I believe this is the essence of what is missing in society today – the desire and mandate that we fight to protect the respect that is shown to others, no matter what race, creed, religion, sexual orientation, or political party they belong to.  Only in this way can we grow, despite our differences, to find that elusive “common ground.”

About Me
Connie Oliver is the owner and founder of Fish Genius, LLC, a consulting service designed to help build both personal and professional brands. For businesses, we offer marketing strategy, research, and campaign development to build brand awareness and grow revenue. For teenagers, a training curriculum in life skills development helps young people, ages 13 to 19, grow their confidence and skillset in managing life – no matter what path they choose beyond high school.  If you’re interested in learning more, contact her at connie@fishgenius.net.